Shiny Blue Passports
October 26, 2009
My German class today was less of a class and more of an informational meeting. It lasted all of an hour and the professor spent the biggest part of it fielding questions from some guy (I shall call him Moses) who seemed he would want to teach the class on his own were his German not so ridiculous.
"That's how you're going to teach us? I've spent two years teaching English and I always found that it's better if you..."
The professor was extremely patient but the rest of the class started shifting uncomfortably after his third attempt to explain to Moses that no, we will not be using standard text books for the time being and yes, he would be required to bring paper with him to class. Yes, every day. And a pen. Yes, a pencil is okay, too. We all clinched our water bottles and looked at the ceiling. Would he ever shut up? More importantly: Would he be back tomorrow?
After what seemed like ages, we were dismissed. I cheerfully said goodbye to my neighbor, pulled out my ipod and almost had the earplugs in when You-Will-Never-Guess-Who popped in front of me.
Damnit.
"You speak English??" he asked eagerly, blocking my way out the door.
"Um... yes. I'm American, actually. From the US."
Excitment was written all over his face. Shifting his bag to his other shoulder, Moses proceeded to tell me he was from Jordan, how surprised he was that no one else in our class spoke English, and that he was really lucky to have found me, a native speaker. I smiled and replied as politely as I could as we left the building, hoping he wasn't planning on following me home.
Fifteen thousand questions later we reached the bus stop and, after admitting that I wasn't planning on going straight home, he offered to accompany into the city center. I didn't really mind at this point because I figured I could just deal with him until we reached the train station and then hop on a bus home, citing laundry as an excuse.
Yeah, right.
We ended up at some generic cafe where he insisted on paying and began to talk. We talked and talked and talked. In fact, I learned very much about Moses today: where he's from, what he's studying, how much he misses his mother's cooking, what he thinks about this country's education system, his friends' names, and what car he used to drive before he sold it to come to Germany.
I also learned what Moses loves to do most: write poetry.
Did I want to hear some? Of course. Nothing would thrill me more. Please, read your poetry to me while I sit here and attempt to slit my wrists with this teaspoon.
Pulling a pad of paper and pen from his bag and using his cellphone as a dictionary, he slowly began translating the Arabic stanzas into English. I tore my croissant apart with my fingers and stared determinedly into my coffee.
"I do swear that my love for you increases daily..."
My spoon hit the ground. I ducked briefly under the table and tried to compose my face into something resembling a neutral state of interest before popping back up.
"I do swear that I will be by your side every moment..."
I couldn't look at him. If I did, I would have laughed. I dug my nails into my palm instead and started doubling numbers in my head. I knew it couldn't last forever. Eventually he would stop translating his saccharine poetry and I would be on my way home listening to the Glee soundtrack and kicking the seat in front of me.
"I do swear that nothing will separate us. Not mountain nor hill..."
I tapped my coffee mug, my eyes darting every 5 seconds to the bus stop directly behind me. Another bus gone. I'll take the next one...
"I do swear that I will love you until the day I die."
I don't remember what I said exactly when it was all over. I think I used the words "lovely" and "nice" at least twice each. In fact, I was still telling him how much I liked it as the bus doors closed in front of me.
He's bringing me a properly translated, handwritten copy to class tomorrow.
Day one.
Labels: typical
7:14 PM,
1 Comments:
oh god. You poor thing. I'm laughing but I really truly feel bad. Good luck with him. *giggles*
K
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