Seventh Moon
October 5, 2009
Seventh Moon is the worst scary movie I have ever sat all the way through. Let me ruin it for you:
So, these two typically American tourists have just married and decided to honeymoon in China, visiting the groom's family. They arrive on the WORST DAY EVER as it's the night the moon demons come out and kill you unless you present them a really awesome sacrifice like...
I'm assuming you can see where this is going, right? The two find themselves, naturally, abandoned in the woods next to a little village with a bunch of goats/chickens/dogs all tied up outside with candles and notes. The blonde asks, "What's thiiiis?" about a thousand times. When they get back to their car they see it's been covered with blood. They still don't get it. They get in their...
You know what? It doesn't even matter, that's how stupid it was. There's some running and screaming, the idiots figure out THEY are the sacrifices, the husband gets taken and the RETARDED BLONDE CHICK spends about 10 minutes of screen time looking for him in a cave like this:
And the worst part was the fact that the whole thing was meant to look like it was filmed with some sort of hand-held camera (by the same guy who did the Blair Witch Project) and you couldn't see a single thing. Even the parts which were somehow supposed to be scary were ruined because the camera was out of focus and pointing at a bit of trees in the background.
Brilliant.
Labels: review
10:31 PM,
2 Comments:
This "thing" was the biggest piece of movie crap I have sat through since I am out of kindergarten. Awful, terrible cinematography, ridiculous plot, lousy acting, loads of people in white bodysuits with a bit of blood sprayed over pretending to be "moon demons" and awful, terribly awful cinematography. Yes I know I mentioned that already, but the people responsible for anything "camera" in this film should be banned from the big screen until they become moon demons themselves.
Why I sat through this whole thing? Cause I was stuffed with delicious tuna pasta and couldn't move, that's why!
I am so glad you're posting again :)
Sarah x
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